Still no sleep

Having to do the night shift (taking care of baby at night) has taken over my life. I used to enjoy partying till the wee hours at night and still can wake up the next day feeling alive but now, having to take care of my baby at night, feeding him every 2 hours and expressing milk every 4 hours is really making me so exhausted! when will this end? or at least gets better?

i can't wait for the time where he will at least sleeps longer at night so that i can also have my beauty sleep. hiaz... now my routine starts at 2pm when i wake up, have my breakfast cum lunch, do housework and bath by 5 pm. Start feeding him and taking over from my mom until i have my dinner at abt 7.30pm. his fussy time begins abt 9pm till abt 1am where he will refuse to sleep and just fuss and cries. I just hope sometimes i know what he wants cos at times i feel like a failure when i just can't comfort him. he will finally dose off at around 1am than wake up abt every 2 hours to feed. i will do my expressing at 1am than wash up and quickly go to bed before he wakes up again. My next expressing time is around 4-5am either after or before his feed. Abt 7am, i am usually super tired and will start dosing off whenever i feed him. My happiest moment is 9am when i know i can finally pass him to my mom, express one last time and finally go to bed by 10am. This cycle will repeat again at 2pm :(

Sometimes i find that i do not have a life anymore. i no longer have time to do my own stuff like reading, knitting or even go out. i miss being pregnant where we are 2 in one rather than now where everything i do has to fit into his schedule. Will i ever get used to it? No wonder woman gets post natal depression. i do wonder how woman without family help pull thru this super tough time. i really salute them man!